About Me

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All my life I've been a dreamer of dreams,a free spirit,an independent rebel who listens more to the beat of my heart's intuition and the decades of practical experience than to outside influences. Over the years I've taken all the bad with the good, blessing me with an esoteric knowledge of life and an understanding of its purpose, yet still I yearn to learn more. My soul reaches out for something I don't have,don't see, but so desperately need.


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Lonesome Land

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Trail's End: Lament to the Lonesome Land ~ a poem by Albert Pendergraft (1894–1944) (revised & edited by Lloyd Albert Williams-Pendergraft) You’re a lonesome land, an empty land A hard land that is rugged and bare You’re a wild and untamed lonesome land A proud land that’s demanding but fair When I pause on some sun-blistered hill And gaze far o’er your broad boundless range Where the brisk restless winds never still And swift sunlight and cloud shadows change There’s a song in my heart and an ache A longing indefinitely sad There’s contentment that sorrow can’t take And my troubles seem gone and I’m glad In the night when the hours slowly pass And a wolf wails her long lonely cry Where the wind whispers low in the grass And the stars circle silently by Your magical spirit holds me fast In a spell that cannot be undone While the days of my lifetime shall last You have blessed me and made me your son Then softl...
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The Eleusinian Mysteries: Feelings of Futility

Someone once said they won't enjoy old age because there's no future in it. More profound words were never uttered if we cannot see beyond our own lifetimes. Could it be that we live just a few decades on the face of this earth, struggling as best we can to make the most of this short time, only to fade away to nothing but whatever legacy we've left behind when we die? Do any of us really believe in our heart of hearts that that's all there is? Could it be that there is no further purpose for our existence – not so much as even some mysterious purpose beyond our human perceptions or understandings? To believe in your heart and mind that this life is all there is seems incomprehensible to me. If you are in touch with your own soul, you intuitively know there is more. In previous essays I've discussed the pleroma, hierosgamos, the union of opposites, the bridal chamber, the esoteric knowledge of the Gnostics, pagan myths and their relationship to modern day religious ...
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Mother

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As the years wear on I find myself, more and more frequently, looking back over my long life with conflicting and alternating mixtures of quiet comfort and satisfaction, unsettling regret and remorse, and nostalgic memories of all that has gone before. Though I seldom dwell on the past for long, I often pull incidents, places, people, and things through the cobwebs of my mind for use in my writing. For a writer, drawing from personal experiences is the most valuable reference library there is. From time to time I consider the influences of the roles that others have played in the shaping of my life – the significance of my father, mother, and siblings, for instance. It took me decades to realize that my mother had more influence on the character of my mind and my personality than my father did. My father was a here and now kind of person, and he was a friend and companion more than a father, for we spent years fishing, hunting, and exploring together when I was a kid – all the while i...
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